that damned kid got me sick!

yeah, so i guess the little coughing boy @ the chinese restaurant got me sick. fuck. karma's a beyotch... i have snot coming out of holes in my face i didn't even know i had. and though the cough i have is no where near as wretched as that little kids, it hurts like a motherfucker. it's one of those coughs thats like: COUGH COUGH!!! (pause...wait for the pain...) oh. ok.... there it is. it's this rising build up of body soreness that creeps over your entire head. it starts in the lungs and slowly moves it's way up. unproductive and dry... (COUGH COUGH!). again, ugh.. it's kind of comparable to getting kicked in the nuts. you get this nauseating creep that trickles up from your testes into your gut. except with this one, it's this jarring feeling. my head's hot. i feel like pedro. maybe i'll shave my head. i went to the doctor and got a shot. he's the man. he's my pusher. "hey kid. come here. try one of these... it's called Celestone, and it's an injectable cortasteroid used to treat your weakened immune system. it can fight that infection like a champ. try it. it's free..." oh, i like that. next thing i know, i really like cortizone. it makes me all manic. its like going from -10 mph (cuz i'm sick, you know) to going 60. time to flip around the office.

i'm a glutton for chinese food punishment.

rocked out another JG show this weekend. it was one of our best ever. nobody screwed up, but the band split before i did so i had to pay the band tab. bastards...$69 dollars, and 2 out of the 6 of us had already payed a personal tab. ok, $70 of half priced alcohol is a lot of shit for 4 people. aimee d passed out on the pool table after close. i really should have snapped a photo. last night me and the didier went to the local chinese food restaurant. you know, i'm growing more and more weary of chinese restaurant owners. the last time we went there, we got 2 buffets to go. you pay first, they give you the styrofoam box, and then you go and gorge yourself on quite possibly the most vile system of american dining in history. anyways, we head for the trough and aimee turns and says "oooh. get me one of the little soup bowls" and so i turn and ask the lady. she's like "that's 25 cents extra". since i had paid with a debit card and keep no form of hard currency on me whatsoever, i go "shit. i don't have a quarter." she goes "well i'm sorry". ok. i just paid $16 for 2 buffets, probably which might have cost the restaurant maybe $1 to make, and i'm getting shook down for a fucking quarter?! well, because americanized chinese food is the modern day crack cocaine for semi-overweight people like me... i still have to get my fix. honestly, you know what astounds me? the people working there are all svelt and skinny. do you think they eat this shit? who knows. i even thought about bailing before it was too late. since there was a wait to actually eat here, me and aimee were sitting there like morons, waiting to have our name called. this is how the exchance between us went. Me: "Ok. I don't think i want chinese food anymore..." Aimee: "Then where do you want to go..." Me: "I don't know. hey, i picked chinese so you have to pick by deferment" Aimee: "Um, well.. I don't know... um..." Me: "Better hurry, aimee... our turn is coming up" Aimee: "Um..." Me:"Better hurry......" (Host: "Sam, Party of 2") Me: "Too late..." so we're sitting there and eating our 4 million calorie meal and there's this kid across the room that starts coughing. i mean, this was no ordinary cough. it was this sucking chest wound sound... this wheezing blurb of a rumbling mass of God-knows-what, gurbling about his poor little body. i felt bad for the kid, i did... but the sound was serisouly turning my stomach. and what's his parents doing bringing their SARS infected kid out to a restaurant. i mean, he just keeps doing it. "cough.. cough... COUGH COUGH COUGH (blurble currrahhh gluuuuurrrrrrrr bluaahhhh..." (ask me sometime to demonstrate this.) so finally they get up and leave. right as the MSG has inflated in my stomach and rendered eating completely impossible. we hobbled to the entrance and i was able to succesfully spend the next 4 hours with a burning diarhhea like you wouldn't believe. just like always. a tell-tale sign of a good chinese dinner that i will eat again and again. started working with the fostex. prepare yourself. it's coming....

school marms. again!

does anyone remember that saturn commercial where the car is driving along, four or so passengers... making their way through a college campus? just driving along a street packed with greek people clowning around with lampshades on thier heads, etc.. i think there's an eels song playing in it. i think i may also remember a goat being in it as well. anyways, they're driving along and as they make it out of the campus, they pass a sign that says "Now Leaving College". they sort of look at each other in this wild-eyed bewilderment; cue saturn man's voiceover - and end of commercial. i had a tough time adjusting to post college life. i just read an article in Time that defines a growing generation the author termed Twixters, aka people who aren't ready for the responsibilities of adulthood but who have already used up all thier acceptable college time, per se. i graduated in 2001. to me, that doesn't seem like all that long ago but to an 18 year old, that was back when they were in 9th grade. i even tried to go back. in the fall of 2003 i decided i was going to go back to school. not to get a degree or anything... i conned the people here at work into thinking i needed to learn to speak spanish if the company was going to remain competitive in the construction field (which in Baton Rouge is slowy growing true). needless to say, it ended up being a disaster. i can't balance a 40+ hour a week job and ANY school, not even 3 hours. i got a D in the good senorita's class and my reward for trying to relive college was being called "mr. sam" by the kid who sat behind me. there is always the ruse of graduate school, but the sad fact is that my undergrad is in sociology (with the criminology concentration, mind you!)... and a masters in sociology is merely a stepping stone to a phD in sociology. a phD in sociology is merely a stepping stone to TEACHING sociology. that's right. thats all its used for. oh fuck it. i'm getting my mba. if george w bush can do it then so can i. and it's a great thing to do with your time. i mean, right? come on. lets all go back to school! this way! follow me!

peeeeeeeeYOW!

stayed in a hotel last night in my own town. thats just sorta strange, you know? i think part of the hotel experience is different channels on TV and the water tasting shitty... but not last night. the ABC affiliate was still on channel 5 and i could drink as much tap water as i wanted. it was like being in the twilight zone. i drank several cups, and then had to pee all night. today me and aimee went to TCBY and "Stayin' Alive" was on the radio. i wanted to listen to more so when we got in the car i had to turn the station to Diva 92.3... the next song was "Lose My Breath" by destiny's child, and i asked aims if it was about asthma. sadly she told me it was not. that fostex is coming in the mail soon. get ready, world. i'm making millions.

the "good old days"

man i'm tired. had to close the bar 2 nights in a row so i could get off tonight. i'm going to some crazy thing with aimee for her work. some sort of corporate party, but they're putting us up in a hotel and it's gonna be on like donkey kong. open bar so sam will be loaded, believe it. last night i started thinking about the good old days and i realized that at every point of my life, i fondly remember the good old days. right now, the "good old days" (tm) in my life were around 1999-2000. college and insanity ensued. it was total freedom and a life of mass chaos and revelry. the only thing was that i had a girlfriend at the time who got in my head and sort of pulled me down from time to time. oh well, take the good with the bad. she was good in bed. in 1999-2000, the "good old days" (hereinafter referred to as the g.o.d.) must have been high school, or at least 1995-1996. back when you would get in trouble for smoking or drinking; challenging authority at every interval. i was a big dork for the biggest part of high school but there were moments. senior year was a breakthru. 5 girls brought me to the Sadie Hawkins dance (they were all hot). i was in a band, which was cool i guess. in 1995-1996, the g.o.d. was the womb. i hated and still hate everyone i went to middle school and elementary school with, except a few. oh well. one more thing. last night i dreamed that someone shot me in the leg over on Acadian right by that overpass... you know, by Outback and the UP Bank building. hurt like a bitch. i don't know why they did it, but if it ever happens to me i'll look back as this being prophetic.

another day, another dolla...

just ordered a fostex mr 8 - digital 8 track. it's time to get that solo record i've been talking about so much off the ground. just wait till you hear some of the shit i'm gonna put on this thing. Judge Genius is hard to get serious in, and so a lot of my more "self" you could say is gonna be on this record. that and a lot of other wierd shit. the 4 track stuff i recorded last year had songs like "Rape-o, the Dinosaur", "Conrad, the Kid Who Came From A Can" and other things like that. at one point i had a distorted modulated "Dang Me" by Roger Miller playing in the left speaker, and a distorted modulted "Beat It" by Michael Jackson in the right. it was horrible, but what can i say? as for other things, we're actually finishing up that Judge Genius record that we've talked about for 4 years or so. i went in and put vocals on 5 songs Tuesday so we're making some progress. get ready. this album will be the greatest thing any of us have accomplished musically together. thats all for now. peas, sammo

myspace? all mine?

ok, so i just joined this thing here and i'm getting a wee pissed at it. i can't figure out how to join friends or what not. motherfucker! thought of the day... if Red Lobster is for the seafood lover in you, then what is for the seafood LOATHER in you? huh? let me know when you come up with an answer.