So we baptized little Conner over the weekend. He was perfect up there - smiling, laughing. He even looked at Father Mike while he was anointing him with oil or something or other, and gave him this big smile. It was sweet thing. Little guy... I mean Conner, not the priest. He was somewhat portly. But still...
Last night he fell asleep in the swing like he does all the time, while me and Aimee were swiftly flying through the 5th season of Mad Men (gotta hurry, Season 6 starts in like a week). We picked him up and carried him to his crib and he never even stirred. Aimee changed his diaper and held him up to me to unfasten his little bib from the back, and then laid him down and he went right to sleep. I looked down at the bib and it was a Winnie The Pooh bib with him sort of skipping, with the words "Hello Little Friend" on it, or something like that, and I folded it and set it on the armrest of the little rocking chair... and it sort of dawned on me how special this time is. It's so great. That room being dimly lit with the sound machine making little wave noises. I spent many a night rocking Coop in that same room and now I get to rock Conner in there while these little babies sleep in your arms and you just look down at them and just, you know.. It's a great thing.
But all in all, Baby marketing is weird. It's all soft and cuddly animals and pastels and soft colors. The blankets and jammies are soft and down, and there's little bunnies or ducks or little dogs on things. And they're always smiling. I guess in our lives, you have plenty of time to get desensitized to all the horror and shitty things in the world. But as a little baby, you have time to just soak in all the warmth and softness and love. It makes you realize that as little babies, we're all so innocent. Everybody is, literally. Everybody needs a hug, and to be cuddled, and loved on, and bottle fed, and have someone sort of stroke their little baby head, and dote on them. And I don't know when that stops. Or why at some point, we just move on. But wouldn't it be great if we could just hold on to it a little bit longer? I know there will be a time when I miss it. I just hope I can remember it perfectly... and God helps me get past the point that it ends. But while there's time, I'm gonna enjoy it. It's the greatest thing ever.
