Wikipedia is an obsession on so many levels. Two things I was wondering about today was:
1. The Death Of Karen Carpenter.
2. Why Peter Cetera loathes Chicago so much.
I didn't find out enough information on either of these subjects. But I did find some interesting nuggets. Peter Cetera is an asshole (which I always kind of suspected), and Karen and Richard Carpenter bought 2 apartment buildings in California and named each after some of their songs. "Only Just Begun" is one and "Close To You" is the other. The weird thing is that the names of the buildings are written on them, and you can still see them with Google Streetview.
Wikipedia searches of the day---> "Karen Carpenter" and "Chicago (Band)". Look them up right now. You'll be glad you did.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Dr. Hale vs. Horseman
My first semester in college at the most esteemed Southeastern Louisiana University, I took a class entitled Criminal Justice 101. It was taught by Dr. Bob Hale, quite an interesting fellow, whom was constantly reminiscing of the fights he would get into with his neighbor in his hometown of Louisville, KY. He never disclosed to us what the guy's first name was. Only that his last name was "Horseman" (pronounced hoarsemin) and how he absolutely wanted to kill this man. He spoke in class one day (of well over 100 people) about how he wanted to beat him to death with a shovel. I'll never forget that. A shovel beating topic in Criminal Justice class, spoken softly and eloquently in a Kentucky southern drawl. On one of the tests Dr. Hale gave, one of the questions was how the best way to kill this man was. Multiple choice...and one of the choices was to bury him up to his head and run over him with a lawnmower.
I never missed this class. It was like a wildcard. You never knew what to expect. One day we might be discussing the importance of Robert Merton or Caesar Lambrusco, the next we'd be talking about how one day Dr. Hale almost picked up an Easton baseball bat and went next door to bludgeon Horseman to death. You know, in hindsight, we probably should have notified the administration but who would want to mess this up? One of the coolest things about him was that he never gave final or midterm exams. He'd say "You know, they tell us here that we HAVE to give a midterm and final. But nobody says anything about you having to TAKE it. So next Friday at 7:30, I'll be here with your exam. But taking it is completely up to you. No extra points will come your way from it, because I'm not going to grade it and it will be thrown away as soon as class is over." I really should have gone to the final just to see what it was about but the thrill of youth and the opportunity to get shitfaced the previous night was likely far too overwhelming.
I took him for 101 and CJ 102 and he was my advisor for my first year in school. Back then, you had to get your schedule request approved before you could schedule. He had an office on the third floor of this building and I went up to talk to him to get approval. His office was probably about 4' X 4' with just a desk, a Pink Floyd poster, and not much else. When I went to speak with him, he had the lights off and just had a little desk lamp illuminating the tiny little room. I introduced myself to him, and told him how much I enjoyed his 101 class. He said "Everybody likes that class."
A few semesters later, people were talking about how fucked up he was getting so I scheduled a 300 level class (only about 20 people, far smaller than the intro level stuff) he taught. The class was entitled "Deviance" so I was thinking this could be one of the most fucked up things I'd ever get to see. I was right. Dr. Hale would teach this like he hated it. He'd just go through the outline and ask people questions, then he'd sit in the desk chair and not say much. We were like "What the fuck is going on with this guy" but sort of accepted that this is what happened as you advanced in the CJ curriculum. One day we went to class and he never showed up. All hour. No Dr. Hale. The next class, we walked in and there was a different guy in there. We all sat down and he explained that Dr. Hale had tried to kill himself and that he'd be gone for a few weeks. I was like "holy fucking shit!" If I remember correctly, class was canceled for about a week and then we came in expecting to see Dr. Hale, but there was this guy who wore a suit and a black wool trenchcoat, all asshole like. He was like "Sit down, everyone. It's time for class." The guy was a retired NOPD detective, which some of the nuts who were in this class thought was the greatest thing ever. I was like "So when is Dr. Hale coming back?" but Dr. Hale wasn't coming back.
I transferred to LSU after my sophomore year. Shortly after the semester began, I'd gotten word that Dr. Hale had killed himself although everyone I'd talked to pretty much expected that from attempt number 1. I called either Mac or Dustin (whom were both still going to school there but i can't remember which) and pleaded with them to bring me a copy of the Lions Roar to see the expose. I felt a little robbed that the world I lived in now lacked Dr. Bob Hale. Ok, that sounds all like he was my mentor or something but he really wasn't. It was just a weird feeling. You don't expect your teachers to commit suicide. That's what students with emo hangups do (cue the bathtub scene in The Rules of Attraction). I remember reading he had an infant son named David when I read the article. That kid has to be about 10 now, and he's probably headed for an insane future. I was sitting at me, Mac, and Dustin's apartment reading it, and if my life was like a tv show, this would be the end of an epidode. I looked up at Dustin and said "Wow. So the guy finally did it. I wonder... I wonder if he got Horseman first."
Dustin laughs.
Roll Credits.
I never missed this class. It was like a wildcard. You never knew what to expect. One day we might be discussing the importance of Robert Merton or Caesar Lambrusco, the next we'd be talking about how one day Dr. Hale almost picked up an Easton baseball bat and went next door to bludgeon Horseman to death. You know, in hindsight, we probably should have notified the administration but who would want to mess this up? One of the coolest things about him was that he never gave final or midterm exams. He'd say "You know, they tell us here that we HAVE to give a midterm and final. But nobody says anything about you having to TAKE it. So next Friday at 7:30, I'll be here with your exam. But taking it is completely up to you. No extra points will come your way from it, because I'm not going to grade it and it will be thrown away as soon as class is over." I really should have gone to the final just to see what it was about but the thrill of youth and the opportunity to get shitfaced the previous night was likely far too overwhelming.
I took him for 101 and CJ 102 and he was my advisor for my first year in school. Back then, you had to get your schedule request approved before you could schedule. He had an office on the third floor of this building and I went up to talk to him to get approval. His office was probably about 4' X 4' with just a desk, a Pink Floyd poster, and not much else. When I went to speak with him, he had the lights off and just had a little desk lamp illuminating the tiny little room. I introduced myself to him, and told him how much I enjoyed his 101 class. He said "Everybody likes that class."
A few semesters later, people were talking about how fucked up he was getting so I scheduled a 300 level class (only about 20 people, far smaller than the intro level stuff) he taught. The class was entitled "Deviance" so I was thinking this could be one of the most fucked up things I'd ever get to see. I was right. Dr. Hale would teach this like he hated it. He'd just go through the outline and ask people questions, then he'd sit in the desk chair and not say much. We were like "What the fuck is going on with this guy" but sort of accepted that this is what happened as you advanced in the CJ curriculum. One day we went to class and he never showed up. All hour. No Dr. Hale. The next class, we walked in and there was a different guy in there. We all sat down and he explained that Dr. Hale had tried to kill himself and that he'd be gone for a few weeks. I was like "holy fucking shit!" If I remember correctly, class was canceled for about a week and then we came in expecting to see Dr. Hale, but there was this guy who wore a suit and a black wool trenchcoat, all asshole like. He was like "Sit down, everyone. It's time for class." The guy was a retired NOPD detective, which some of the nuts who were in this class thought was the greatest thing ever. I was like "So when is Dr. Hale coming back?" but Dr. Hale wasn't coming back.
I transferred to LSU after my sophomore year. Shortly after the semester began, I'd gotten word that Dr. Hale had killed himself although everyone I'd talked to pretty much expected that from attempt number 1. I called either Mac or Dustin (whom were both still going to school there but i can't remember which) and pleaded with them to bring me a copy of the Lions Roar to see the expose. I felt a little robbed that the world I lived in now lacked Dr. Bob Hale. Ok, that sounds all like he was my mentor or something but he really wasn't. It was just a weird feeling. You don't expect your teachers to commit suicide. That's what students with emo hangups do (cue the bathtub scene in The Rules of Attraction). I remember reading he had an infant son named David when I read the article. That kid has to be about 10 now, and he's probably headed for an insane future. I was sitting at me, Mac, and Dustin's apartment reading it, and if my life was like a tv show, this would be the end of an epidode. I looked up at Dustin and said "Wow. So the guy finally did it. I wonder... I wonder if he got Horseman first."
Dustin laughs.
Roll Credits.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
3-2-1 Contact
I wonder what happened to the cat who was in the 3-2-1 Contact intro... He seemed nice. I hope he had a nice life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7S537b7saE
He's at the 0:48 second mark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7S537b7saE
He's at the 0:48 second mark.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Oh when the clock strikes...
This probably plays 24-7 in Hell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaDgTkqF7rY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaDgTkqF7rY
Friday, October 17, 2008
Double swipes, garbage trucks, police cars, and hardhats.
Do you ever notice that in convenience stores, the little credit card machine at the counter says "Please swipe card"? It should also say "Then stare at clerk helplessly, and wait for them to say 'Swipe it again. It didn't go through.'"
*****************************
The other morning I was laying in bed. It was like 5am, and the garbage man was out picking up the trash with those new crazy one-man operation robot trucks and it was just making these horrendous sounds. I realized that since I KNEW it was the garbage man, there was no reason to be alarmed. But what if you didn't know if was the garbage man? It would probably be pretty terrifying. Old people everywhere are probably saying "Jesus, Maude. The robots are finally here to kill us..." on a regular basis.
************************
When you're on the interstate, why do scores of cars slam on their breaks when they see a cop on the side of the road, writing someone a ticket? Seems like this is the perfect time to speed (or really break any vehicular law) since the guy is already busy with someone. I mean, really... do you think the cop is going to be like "License and registration, ma'am. Do you know how fast you were.... WOAH! NEVERMIND!"
::police man runs back to police car::
"I'm going after that guy! Besides, he looked kind of mexican..."
****************************************
As a former construction worker/current estimator/manager/myspace blog writer, I'd often run into situations where the safety guy on whatever job you're on forces you to wear a hardhat. I'm no fan, as they look kind of like you're one of those waterhead people. Plus they're unnatural, bulky, and stupid looking. I've seen some fashioned like cowboy hats, which are pretty cool. The first time I saw one, I thought about getting into the customized hardhat business. I'd probably make some look like derbys, or peter pan hats, or pirate regalia, or women's sunhats... though none of those would probably go over well. But if you're driving by a construction site in a few years and everyone on the job are wearing beret or viking helmet hardhats, please give me a call. Clearly I'm owed some compensation on some level.
Anyway, something that irks me is when I'm at LSU or near somewhere doing site (earth) work, or see someone doing maintenance and they're wearing a hardhat. I'm not talking about a construction site, where people could be dropping rivets or bolts on your head from the floor above you. I'm talking about a situation where there is clearly no reason for you to be wearing a hardhat. Perhaps you are afraid the building that you're next to, that you're repainting the doorhandle of, is going to spontaneously collapse? If that's the case, brother, we're all in trouble. Do you think that a meteorite is going to crash into your head? Are people beaning you in the skull with rocks a real problem for you?
Many many many years ago, I was working on a job at Southern University. A brand-new four story building, where yes, hardhats can probably provide some purpose. However, we'd left the job for lunch and this guy Dumas had apparantly forgot to take his off. While we were in line waiting to get our extra value meals, Sean (one of our coworkers) looked at him and said "Dumas, do you doubt the structural stability of this Burger King"? I looked at him and said "Yeah, I think we're safe here. You can probably take a few minutes off from safety land." Dumas took the hardhat off, we all had a chuckle, and enjoyed a moment of having our heads clearly available to whatever troubles may befall us.
But note to self while looking back on it: Create Safety Land. It will be a hit.
*****************************
The other morning I was laying in bed. It was like 5am, and the garbage man was out picking up the trash with those new crazy one-man operation robot trucks and it was just making these horrendous sounds. I realized that since I KNEW it was the garbage man, there was no reason to be alarmed. But what if you didn't know if was the garbage man? It would probably be pretty terrifying. Old people everywhere are probably saying "Jesus, Maude. The robots are finally here to kill us..." on a regular basis.
************************
When you're on the interstate, why do scores of cars slam on their breaks when they see a cop on the side of the road, writing someone a ticket? Seems like this is the perfect time to speed (or really break any vehicular law) since the guy is already busy with someone. I mean, really... do you think the cop is going to be like "License and registration, ma'am. Do you know how fast you were.... WOAH! NEVERMIND!"
::police man runs back to police car::
"I'm going after that guy! Besides, he looked kind of mexican..."
****************************************
As a former construction worker/current estimator/manager/myspace blog writer, I'd often run into situations where the safety guy on whatever job you're on forces you to wear a hardhat. I'm no fan, as they look kind of like you're one of those waterhead people. Plus they're unnatural, bulky, and stupid looking. I've seen some fashioned like cowboy hats, which are pretty cool. The first time I saw one, I thought about getting into the customized hardhat business. I'd probably make some look like derbys, or peter pan hats, or pirate regalia, or women's sunhats... though none of those would probably go over well. But if you're driving by a construction site in a few years and everyone on the job are wearing beret or viking helmet hardhats, please give me a call. Clearly I'm owed some compensation on some level.
Anyway, something that irks me is when I'm at LSU or near somewhere doing site (earth) work, or see someone doing maintenance and they're wearing a hardhat. I'm not talking about a construction site, where people could be dropping rivets or bolts on your head from the floor above you. I'm talking about a situation where there is clearly no reason for you to be wearing a hardhat. Perhaps you are afraid the building that you're next to, that you're repainting the doorhandle of, is going to spontaneously collapse? If that's the case, brother, we're all in trouble. Do you think that a meteorite is going to crash into your head? Are people beaning you in the skull with rocks a real problem for you?
Many many many years ago, I was working on a job at Southern University. A brand-new four story building, where yes, hardhats can probably provide some purpose. However, we'd left the job for lunch and this guy Dumas had apparantly forgot to take his off. While we were in line waiting to get our extra value meals, Sean (one of our coworkers) looked at him and said "Dumas, do you doubt the structural stability of this Burger King"? I looked at him and said "Yeah, I think we're safe here. You can probably take a few minutes off from safety land." Dumas took the hardhat off, we all had a chuckle, and enjoyed a moment of having our heads clearly available to whatever troubles may befall us.
But note to self while looking back on it: Create Safety Land. It will be a hit.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sha-Theed
So this gray striped kitty showed up at my house the other day. I like to think Hurricane Gustav picked him up from someones back yard and lightly placed him at my doorstep, but who knows. Either way, I wanted to name him "Shithead" after Navin Johnson's dog in The Jerk. But Aimee wanted to name him "Gus" after the hurricane that more or less dropped him off to us. I'm just going to rally behind "Shithead" and see what happens. Aimee brought up a good point though.
"So, you're going to bring him to the vet and tell them his name is 'Shithead'?
"No, I will tell them it's pronounced 'shah-thead', like an african name for 'royal proud feline'"...
So anyways, next time you're at my house, give Shithead a little pat on the head for me.
"So, you're going to bring him to the vet and tell them his name is 'Shithead'?
"No, I will tell them it's pronounced 'shah-thead', like an african name for 'royal proud feline'"...
So anyways, next time you're at my house, give Shithead a little pat on the head for me.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Postcard from HELL!
Last week was hell. Spent Mon-Wed without power and finally escaped this weekend to Beau Rivage. There, spent too much money and got back to town to find that hell was still residing right here in Baton Rouge. Spent last night in parents house in St. Amant. Have been living out of a suitcase for days.
Got home this morning to find lights finally back on at house. Then found power back at work.
Life slowly returning to normal.
I'll write you with updates.
Love,
e-sam
Got home this morning to find lights finally back on at house. Then found power back at work.
Life slowly returning to normal.
I'll write you with updates.
Love,
e-sam
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