Hipstamatic and the I-Fail App.

You know, I've always been down for reminiscing. Hell, probably a large portion of any current whimsings I have running through my head are largely reflective of some time in the past. And really, I don't know why I do that but it's always been my nature. When I was 10 years old, I was probably like "Things were so much better back when I was 8." But that's just the way it is.. so, hey.

But something that's kind of currently irking me is this app people have on their phones called 'hipstamatic'. It's essentially a lens filter of some sort that distorts colors in your cellphone's camera giving it this old school kodachrome vibe. It also takes the edges of the photo and applies this thick black border like an old photo. So it basically makes the picture look like it was taken in the late 60's or 70's. And look, that might be all neat and shit now - but think of the ramifications., You're attempts at being indie and smarmy are going to confuse the hell out of future generations, and that's just bullshit!

"Oh look, it's a picture of Daddy back when he was a baby. Wait.. no, that's me. Wait, no - it's you. Wait. No. NO! FUCK! I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS!!!"

::throws photo album at wall, storms out of room, party ruined::

It's just human nature. Back in the 90's, we all dressed like hippies from the 70's. In the 00's, we all got on the 80's retro craze. When Clinton was in the White House, people were all like "I miss Reagan." When Bush was in the White House, it was "I miss Bill Clinton..." When George Washington was elected president, all the colonial peeps were like "I miss the sweet oppression we got under King George". But I imagine anyone who was vocal about that end was shipped back to mother England as a loyalist.

I wish there was a way to send hipstamatic users back to the 70's. They'd be like "Oh this is so great" for a day or so. Then they'd start looking for the interwebs and all people would be able to lead them to would be a gigantic unix mainframe somewhere. And then they'd be like "WHAT HAVE WE DONE!" but it would be too late. They'd have to find new ways to waste time. New ways to blog.

They should invent new apps that we can download to make things even more retro. Like you download a copy of a phone book instead of being able to google search that shit. Or you could a download a song but in turn, it downloads the first 8 songs on the album like a cassette and you have to just scan through it to find what you're looking for. Or maybe an app that makes your cellphone completely worthless and nonfunctional.

The i-fail. New from the appstore.