My Kids Are Growing Up. And I don't like it.

   The other day, I set up the swimming pool in the backyard. Cooper of course asked about 10,000 questions while we were swimming. Mostly questions that he knows the answer to "Are we in the pool?" "Are we swimming?" "Am I swimming?" "Is mommy swimming?" I love that kiddo. I try to slow him down as much as I can, and ask for hugs and stuff. Tell him he's a good boy. We're trying to get him potty trained, so that's a hoot. But regardless, I just look at him all the time and I can't believe he's growing up so fast.
   Conner too! He's 9 months old as of last Thursday. We had his 9 mo check up at the doc and he's in all the big boy percentiles (75% for height, 50% weight, 95% for head circum). He's so close to crawling, it's scary. Gonna be mobile soon. He pivots onto his hands, gets up kind of on one knee, and then sorta just wilts back to the ground. I'm worried once that kid is able to get around. He's already a terror in the walker. Lord help us when he's able to get around even easier.
   We went out to MeMe's the other Sunday while Aimee was throwing an Open House at Missy and Patrick's. It was cool to be able to see her and both my babies together. Con wasn't really having any of it, but Coop is so great with her. She had a stroke back in May and she can't really say what she wants to, when she wants to say it. But she gets the point out, and Coop just stands there asking questions and genuinely being loving with her. That's rad. I'm so lucky to be able to see these generations able to interact. I remember my MawMaw Neal and MawMaw Galloway and talking with them. I'm glad my kiddos will be able to hopefully one day say the same.
   Life's great. Thanks be to God.

Aimee's kissing those babies.

I just walked in from watching Adam, Mikey, and Glenn play in their cover bands first gig and I walked in and, of course, having a couple beers makes me super sentimental.
Aimee was feeding Conner a late night, impromptu bottle. He'd waken up 3 hours to the minute since his last bottle. I walked in and talked to her a few minutes while he finished his bottle, and tiredly looked up and down at both of us, nodding off. I kissed them both and walked out, but right as I pulled the door shut, I paused and peeked in the door crack and looked at them both. Aimee was just looking right in that baby's eyes, as he was looking up at her.
She smiled, and pulled him up, kissing his forehead. It was deeply moving to me. She's so awesome. And our babies are so awesome.

Just wanted to write that before I forgot it.

Conner turns 6 months old today

   It's amazing to me how fast time flies. It seriously seems like yesterday that Aim was going into labor and we were on our way to the hospital to meet our newest addition. Unbelievably it's been 6 months. He's now old enough to pretty much stand on your lap when you hold him, facing towards you, and he just smiles and coos and laughs... The friendliness in his almond-shaped eyes, his forehead and eyebrows kind of scrunching upward as he just has this happy little look on his face. It melts me. It just hits you sometimes, looking at this little baby boy, and watching him start to develop these traits that you know will shape who he is. Watching a personality grow in this baby that, just months ago, was getting his first spongebath under an incubator lamp at 3 in the morning, in a room filled with a very tired mommy and grandparents and sisters and aunts...
   I'm lucky enough to be able to read to these kiddos almost every other night, and I remember rocking and singing Coop to sleep, though now he wants to stand or sit on the floor while you read - and he's getting very good at stalling when it's time to actually get in bed. We've moved onto bigger books, more words, more pages... And his little Sesame Street Beginnings books have inevitably been passed down to his little brother. Conner can now grab the books, and light up with excitement when he sees Big Bird or Elmo, following page to page and using his hands to swipe at the large colorful figures who smile back at him.
   Cooper lately has been taking note of the time when his whole family is in a room, and he'll say "We are all together...". He's said this at least 10 times since we've been at Mom and Dad's while our house is being remodeled. But it's such a huge statement. He's right. We are all together. It brings me back to when we were all together in my family, and when they were all together with their Moms and Dads, and so forth and so on. I know one day these kids will grow up. It's happening right before my very eyes. But right now, we are all together. And that's what matters the most.

I am the luckiest man on the earth, and being a daddy is the highlight of my life. The tears in my eyes are the testament. Thank you, God. So very very much.

Babies Babies Babies

   So we baptized little Conner over the weekend. He was perfect up there - smiling, laughing. He even looked at Father Mike while he was anointing him with oil or something or other, and gave him this big smile. It was sweet thing. Little guy... I mean Conner, not the priest. He was somewhat portly. But still...
   Last night he fell asleep in the swing like he does all the time, while me and Aimee were swiftly flying through the 5th season of Mad Men (gotta hurry, Season 6 starts in like a week). We picked him up and carried him to his crib and he never even stirred. Aimee changed his diaper and held him up to me to unfasten his little bib from the back, and then laid him down and he went right to sleep. I looked down at the bib and it was a Winnie The Pooh bib with him sort of skipping, with the words "Hello Little Friend" on it, or something like that, and I folded it and set it on the armrest of the little rocking chair... and it sort of dawned on me how special this time is. It's so great. That room being dimly lit with the sound machine making little wave noises. I spent many a night rocking Coop in that same room and now I get to rock Conner in there while these little babies sleep in your arms and you just look down at them and just, you know.. It's a great thing.
   But all in all, Baby marketing is weird. It's all soft and cuddly animals and pastels and soft colors. The blankets and jammies are soft and down, and there's little bunnies or ducks or little dogs on things. And they're always smiling. I guess in our lives, you have plenty of time to get desensitized to all the horror and shitty things in the world. But as a little baby, you have time to just soak in all the warmth and softness and love. It makes you realize that as little babies, we're all so innocent. Everybody is, literally. Everybody needs a hug, and to be cuddled, and loved on, and bottle fed, and have someone sort of stroke their little baby head, and dote on them. And I don't know when that stops. Or why at some point, we just move on. But wouldn't it be great if we could just hold on to it a little bit longer? I know there will be a time when I miss it. I just hope I can remember it perfectly... and God helps me get past the point that it ends. But while there's time, I'm gonna enjoy it. It's the greatest thing ever.
 

35

I was just brushing my teeth and thinking. A couple of days ago, I was changing out of my work polo and into a tee shirt for band practice with the fellas. I grabbed this old Metallica shirt out of the drawer I've literally had since 1992. Wore it and jammed out. Never even thought twice about it.

I was thinking about when me and my family went to Disney World in 1992 and I wore that shirt in the park... the rebellious 14 year old shithead teenager I was. My bangs all hanging in my eyes like I was Kurt Cobain or whatever.

I finished brushing and looked at myself in the mirror. My hairline has receded back well past the curve of my scalp and past my forehead. And my hair is graying. Sort of salt and peppery (though thankfully much more pepper for now). I turn 35 on Sunday. The same day my 5 month old is getting christened and the day after my 2 year old's birthday party.

And my life is more perfect than I could have ever dreamed of.

So fear not, parents who's kids are walking around Disney like a bunch of little motherfuckers. There's hope for them yet.

:)

Yard Of The Month

On the way out the driveway, I noticed the neighbor across the street has been awarded "Yard Of The Month". Well, aren't you something? I'm going to Kinko's and getting an identical one made to put in my yard. We'll just see about that, mister fancy pants. Your distinction will called into question every time neighbors drive by. "What the hell? Two yards of the month? WHICH ONE IS REAL?!?!" And I can assure you - if people think my yard has somehow received this prestige, it will surely water down people's standards of Yard Of The Month. Maybe I'll get one that says "Yard of the Year", or "Yard of the Millennium"... Maybe "The Yard of Infinity"...?

Dreams

I've been having some really vivid dreams lately. Not sure what that's about but I don't know if I like it. I see people from my past, and it genuinely feels like I've seen them in real life. And not in a good way. I don't know. Maybe it was Utah.

Just Boating It

Went out on the boat today with Dad, PT, and Coop. It was pretty cool watching dad and coop play and talk, doing things that they both love.

Life is so great.

Come on, Sam. Make sure you remember all this.

   Tonight while putting Conner to bed, I put his little seahorse thing up next to his head and pushed the little thing's tummy to turn it on and it started playing that all too familiar song. I remember it so well from Cooper that it's literally ingrained in my head. But I know there's a day coming somewhere off in the distant future where I won't be able to remember anymore. And that scares the bajeezus out of me. Again, sad soon-to-be-nostalgic Sam ruins things for current present Sam, sorta. But still.
   There's a little video I shot tonight of him cooing and making all these little blurbs. He was on the changing table and Aimee was leaning over him. He was wearing his little Daddy's Rockstar onesie thats getting too small for him, smiling. I gotta hold on to all this. Because I know there comes a day  where I wish it was all still happening. I love you all, little babies. Oh, I just love you soooooo much.

   Mark 2: 18-22. Something just tells me all these Pharisees are gonna be trouble. I mean, when Jesus mentions wineskins, you better be listening...