There's a few things you notice when drinking energy drinks, most notably Diet Rockstar. For one, it doesn't really taste good and you can literally feel it burning your esophagus. Still, the greatest thing about it is that it turns your pee to the color of a yellow highlighter, which is frightening almost as it is funny. Try it out and let me know what you think about that...
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I have most recently seen the 2 greatest bumper stickers ever. The first one was on a pickup that pulled out in front of me on Cedercrest coming out of the Home Despot. It read "Vegetarian: Old Indian Word for 'Bad Hunter'". I thought that was pretty funny, and I wasn't even mad at him anymore for pulling out in front of me. The other funny one I saw when me and Mikey were on our way to a Knuckledusta show. It was on the back of an El Camino and it read "Abortion is Mean". We were just busting out in laughter. I don't know if that's a political statement or not, I guess it just is what it is. Man, oh man...
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One thing I can't stand is when I'm standing at a urinal and peeing, and another guy walks up to the urinal directly next to me. It's no problem if that's all you have available, but if there's anywhere else you can go - please do so. That's unnerving. I almost want to stop peeing. Or maybe keep peeing but nonchelantly scoot to the next urinal while peeing on the wall between them. What the fuck? Get away from me, you freak. Wait for a stall. Either that or go in the sink. Regardless, I don't need you all next to me and shit, you motherfucker.
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I'm gonna hit you with a theory of mine. Ready? Here it is: Roaches are only scary because they run fast. This is a theory I've had for a while. If they were slow, you wouldn't flip out when you saw them. You'd just be like "Oh, look. How did THIS get in here?". It's like ants. They're not so scary because they're a lot slower. I don't know anyone who is scared of ants. You're scared of what they COULD do to you, but not immediately afraid of them. It's not like you see an antpile in the back yard and go "Fuck! We have Ants!" and just lose your mind. You just make a mental note to not happen upon them and blankly stand there, right? So there it is. Speed is scary. Write that down.
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