Who is Rachel Ray? Where did she come from? Why all of a sudden is she on every channel of my televsion? Why is she on my box of Wheat Thins? Did she have a childhood, or was she just created to help housewives get creative decorating tips? If so, her creator (or should I say cre-Ray-tor) only messed up one thing... her weird little joker like mouth.
I can't stop looking at it. Oh sure, I can hear her talking, and I can see she's showing me how to make an easter basket out of an egg carton, but all I can concentrate on are those little 90 degree angled creases next to her mouth. See here...
(Image from Myspace Blog)
Notice how angled those things are. I mean, they are super mighty pointy. I think that guy sitting next to her wearing his keychain around his neck almost cut himself on Rachel's mouth apparatus. Now that I look a little harder, he has some too, though not nearly as defined. Maybe he was trying to out point her. Maybe he was mocking her. Maybe this was taken at the "Everyone Who Has Rigid Pointy Mouth Creases" Convention 2006, featuring super celeb Rachel Ray.
Personally, i think it may be time to fire up the bat signal. Get a big spotlight and shine it out to the sky. We all might be in grave danger, because I think this guy might be back, though dresses in a very clever disquise:
If she starts adversing Smilex (remember the product the Joker came out with in 1991's Batman that killed everybody), then I'm gonna start freaking.
Now everytime you see her on TV, you're going to think about this. I'm not trying to take anything away from Rachel Ray. I just think there's some reason she's everywhere. It's that mouth. It's intriguing. It's static. It just opens and closes while the rest of her bounces all around it.
I don't know. It's just sort of weird.
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