With Arms Asleep, An Old Man Chews...

You know what is awesome to me? Waking up and having one of your limbs asleep. I love it. Sure, it's a little terrifying at first because you might be having a stroke, although that would probably feel like half of your body is asleep. I don't know though because I've never had a stroke. At least I don't think I have.
Let's say I wake up and I can't feel my hand. It's completely immobile, and feels cold and foreign when it touches any of my "awake" limbs. The first thing I do when I realize what has happened is lift my arm into the air. I'm probably running right off the bat at about 1/8 of my brain functionality, but I at least can sense this is kind of weird. I just want to jump out of bed and go change the alternator on Aimee's car, screaming at my hand for being insolent and lazy. Eventually you will feel the roaring flow of blood and nerve impulse returning to your hand, as the pins and needles sensation starts up and you're like "Ow... OwOwOw...". Then Aimee will wake up and go "What are you doing?" and then I say, "My hand is asleep and OW OW OW... it's... waking up... Oh SHIT... Ow. Ok. OWWW!"
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I remember about 10 years ago, me and some friends were in a Shoney's (which is always full of fat, trashy, fucking gross people), and I was just watching this old guy chew. He was going so slow. I wanted to go up and sit next to him, get eye level and about 3 inches from his mouth and and go "What's going on in there?"... I just hope I get to live long enough to be old and eat in Shoney's while some young punks watch me chew. Shoney's 2062. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU LITTLE SHITS," I'll yell. Now that I think of it, I wish that old man would have yelled at me. Then we could have gone full circle. Hell, he's probably still in there. Wait. Actually it was a Shoney's on College Drive and they tore it down, so he's probably not. His ghost is probably still there though. I think they're building a strip mall where it was, so maybe it will be a Gap or a Pier One with the ghost of an old man chewing somewhere around there. He'll be over in the Baby Gap section, or maybe by the wicker furniture collection...just chewing away.