Goodbye, Pen.. Cat whistles, and going under the knife

Do you ever talk to pens or highlighters, maybe any other office supplies? Because I do. I just realized it as I was writing with a red pen and it was sort of fading in and out. I held it up to my face and said, "you know, this isn't really working out. I think it's time we went our seperate ways..." and walked to the trashcan. The exchange looked like this:



So goodbye, Office Depot brand red ink fine point pen. It was good while it lasted.
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The other day, me and Aimee were sitting on the couch and for some reason, we were talking about kittens. I think I was doing a kitten impression, to which Aimee followed up with this sound like "Beeeeyeeeeeeeeew...". I told her that kittens didn't sound like that, because they don't really have lips. So making a "b" sound isn't really possible, becuase lip pursing isn't really possible in the feline culture. If they could do that though, they could probably whistle. And I think we're all in agreement that would be pretty neat.
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Tomorrow morning, I'm having surgery. It's serious, motherfucker. I said SURGERY!!! True, the word is close to "sugary", but there's nothing sweet about it.. I'm getting 3 wisdom teeth jerked out of my skull. They've been telling be that I needed them out, oh, since High School, but I guess the apparant LACK of wisdom they've provided has persuaded me to wait till now. So tomorrow at 7:20 am, under the influence of valium, I will have an IV put into my body and drift into another realm. Hopefully I'll make it back. I kind of expect to be like in The Big Lebowski, when the Dude is flying through the air, drifting along until he realizes he's holding a bowling ball and falls to the ground...
Anyways, say a prayer. Shit like this makes me shake like a leaf.