freeze frames.

the other day i was thinking about those voiceovers in the Dukes of Hazzard. you know, where there would be a freeze frame and Waylon Jennings would say something like "Now, I don't know how them Duke boys think they're gonna get out of this one...", then there'd be a quick 2 guitar chord progression and they'd cut to commercial... what if my life was like that? i mean, what if when something was about to go awry, i could have a freeze frame with a gentle voiceover, politely asking how i would correct my current wronging? like the other day when i spilled coffee all over my desk. my arm nudges the side of the 24 oz Circle K cup, causing it to lean at about a 45 degree angle and just as i'm staring at it with my mouth gaping, eyes wide, coffee flying out of it...FREEZE FRAME! "Now, I wonder how MAD sam is gonna be, when the Carnation Hazlenut Creme he added to this coffee dries into a sticky mess all over the desk and floor...". (que guitar chord). i guess i couldn't have Waylon since he's dead. i'd have to have someone else. some other obscure celebrity... like Joanna Kearns, the mom from Growing Pains. or the girl who played Lisa on Saved By The Bell. maybe Wayne Newton, Corky from Life Goes On, or Stephanie on Full House. and i could have my voiceover freeze frame for a variety of issues. from spilling popcorn, peeing on the side of the toilet (when it's dark. geez... sorry.), drinking too much and playing volleyball on the beach without any pants on... you get the idea. "Now, normally one would remember to not go bounding around a public place with his wang flying around everywhere..." Peace. p.s. lately whenever i'm sitting through the start of a movie, and the MGM Lion roars, i mouth the roar along with the lion. i don't know... i just have to do it. i don't know why.