the douchebag store.

i'm going to open a store where you can turn yourself into a douchebag. it's going to be this one-stop place where you can get the whole workover. a place where you can take creatine and work out all day, bleach you hair, shave your arms, pierce both ears, get a tribal armband tatoo, wax all of your body hair off, equip you with a new wardrobe from abercrombie/pacific sunwear, put you in a 1999 honda accord with a six-inch exhaust tip with little dragon stickers, and free cover at the Station for a year.... everything you need to be an asshole. i guess it will have to be some sort of 8 week program. ponder this: if you're a sucide bomber and you're having a really shitty day, i bet its that much easier to hit that detonator button.