World's Wildest Police Videos.

Ok.

Have you ever seen that Fox show World's Wildest Police Videos? It's the one hosted by this guy:


His name is Sheriff John Bunell and he is a bad ass. He will seriously fuck you up. He will come to your house and arrest you, while saying things like "I guess it doesn't pay to run from the long arm of the law" or "This perp is getting a joyride... STRAIGHT TO JAIL" or something like that. And the thing is that I honestly believe him. It's like the total opposite of when William Shattner hosted Rescue 911. I didn't believe Shattner could have anything to do with emergency response, but I DO believe Sheriff John Bunnell could engage in some serious police brutality on somebody's ass.

This show is like a car accident. While flipping through channels, everyone has to stop on it for a second. It could be consdensed into about 5 minutes. They literally show every part of every clip about 15 times. Over and over again. All the while, Sheriff Bunnell is saying some idiotic shit. I'd love to see bios of the people who write his retarded dialogue. They are probably people who have been arrested on this show and their sentence is that they have to write incredibly stupid shit for this show.

Also, I love the dubbed in crashes and police sirens. Especially when the camera filming is in a helicopter thousands of feet above. I'm sure it would be a boring show if there was no sound, but do you believe that they could honestly record the soundtrack of what is actually happening. Like there's a superpowerful microphone on the helicopter or something?

I'm waiting for John Bunnell to jump out of the police car and arm tackle someone who's running away. Or ram someone with his "unit" (what he calls EVERY police car) and physically take them into custody. Or even better yet, arrive to the scene of an accident riding a lion and commanding a herd of wild beasts... calling on thousands of hawks and eagles to attack everyone standing around. Beastmaster John Bunnell screaming for the slaughter of hundreds of people.

Now that would be a good show.

Anyways, I'm headed to Orlando this weekend for yet another wedding. Please pray for me that I don't die in a horrible ball of flames and death. I hope John Bunnell is on my plane.