1. Don't you hate it when you're speeding on the interstate, and you spot a police car ahead of you or behind you. You slam on the brakes hoping this policeman didn't totally just see you breaking all kinds of laws. You think you're in the clear until you finally come into view with the driver and notice it's an old fucking man in a white Ford Crown Vic. What the hell are you in that kind of car for? You should be in a maroon caddy or like a gray Buick. But no, you wanted to get the vehicle that looks exactly like a police cruiser. Every city, every parish, every STATE uses the crown victoria or the Chevy Caprice. We need to start a movement to get old folks out of these cars before they give me a heart attack. Seriously.
2. I went to Subway today. There making my sandwich was a so called "sandwich artist". I guess she was just a bad artist. Who could possibly want THAT MUCH lettuce? When I say I want pickles, how about 2 or 3. I don't need 44 pickles on a 6 inch sandwich. They consistantly put a ridiculous amount of the additions you'd like to see made to your food. You say you want some tomatoes. They put 400 tomatoes on there. You want "lite mayonaise"? How about 1/3 of this bottle of mayonaise. Then they wedge it closed with a knife and wrap it up in 6 square feet of paper. Hey, I know everybody! Let's celebrate wastefulness! Then they take the football sized ball of paper they've turned your sandwich into, and put it into another bag. Maybe next you can put it into a box, then into a ball of rubber, and then wrap it in tin foil. Then put into a car and drive it to my house.
3. All over Baton Rouge, they're installing cameras to catch people speeding. Did you know this? On every other traffic signal, there's a little camera on the wire between the traffic lights. Then there's another one like on a lightpole around there to get a snapshot of the other side of your car. They're supposedly going to mail you a ticket everytime you run it by photgraphing your license plate. Enclosed with the ticket will be a picture of you running the light. I was reading on a message board the other day that someone in another state who'd already seen this implemented got themselves a ticket and photo in the mail. He decided to write them a check for the fine, but then take a picture of it and mail them the photo only. The cops must have had a sense of humor, because a few days later he recieved another letter. This time inside was a picture of handcuffs. Ohhhhh burn. That's some kinda funny shit right there.
Peace!
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