This Christmas, I was introduced to an interesting way of exchanging presents known as the "White Elephant" game. Why it is called that, I have no idea. I know the "white horse" supposedly refers to cocaine, which would lead me to believe that a "white elephant" would be a SHITLOAD of cocaine... Though wouldn't be very Christmassy unless you were Columbian or an 80's yuppie stockbroker. Anyway, the premise is that everyone brings a gift, and then draws numbers. The person with the lowest number picks a gift and opens it. Then the person with the next number picks a gift, and so on and so forth. Here's the deal though. If you don't like what you have just opened, then you can steal a person's gift. After having the rules explained to me, I said "This doesn't seem very Christian, I mean... with all this stealing going down" to which everybody kind of gave me a look. Then I turned to one of Aimee's cousins and said "Well, I'm going to go and rob a Walgreen's then." He smiled and said, "Of course you can do that. Just explain to them that its the white elephant game."
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Hey, you there. Mr Bluetooth Earpiece Man. I don't mean to interrupt what is probably a very important conversation for an obviously super important man like yourself. It's just that you look like a fucking idiot with that thing on your head. Is it that hard to actually hold the phone to your ear? I mean, you don't necessarilly look like a day trader or a CEO or anything. You don't look like you NEED to have a bluetooth device. Instead you want to stand next to me in line at a bank and yell into the air about how yo baby mama don't need to be disrespektin' yo ass... In all fairness, I bought a bluetooth earpiece to wear when I'm driving. Even then I'll put it on the side of my head NOT facing the window because I feel like a douche. But I'm not going to wear it in a really loud club standing next to a subwoofer acting like I can hear ANYTHING coming out of an earpiece.
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