Have you ever had some sort of annoying problem with your body, like maybe an itch or a sore muscle or something like that... and then issued an ultimatum to your subconscious to make it stop? I was in a doctor's office waiting room the other day surrounded by a bunch of old people. All of a sudden, i had this minor ball itch. Nothing strange at first, but eventually it became apparant i was going to have to cup myself and rearrange or something in front of everyone in the waiting area. First I just did this weird leg crossing thing, and then I did this "rub the insides of your knees together" kind of action. But it still itched. Finally I looked at my crotch and using the force, I mentally demanded it stop itching or I would defile myself in front of everyone. Needless to say, eventually I had to do the quick "pinch and roll", but I hoped people mistook it for a high inner thigh scratch. If you're a guy, you know what the "pinch and roll" is. If you're a girl, then ask a guy.
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Have you ever seen a dog drag its ass across the yard? Dogs have no humility and you really have to respect that. Whenever I see that, I want to tell the dog "You drag that ass, dog... you drag it. Hell, I would do it if I could...". In fact, I'm going to do that at the next crawfish boil I go to and see what people think of it. Either that or a crowded mall around Christmas time.
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The other day I was driving down Florida Blvd and as I passed the big Airline intersection, there was this guy with his pants around his ankles pissing. He was just sitting there facing traffic. Didn't even bother to go behind a tree or a building or anything. Way to go, Baton Rouge. We're finally on the move!
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I bet if you wanted to start an accounting firm, but wanted to call it FUCKSHIT, Inc... you wouldn't get a lot of business. Just a hunch. Maybe you could call it "Pinch-N-Roll" though. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
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