Friday, February 4, 2005

you know, i've done some incredibly inane shit in my life...

one time, me and a few of my friends all gathered under an overpass over by Blvd Du Province and Old Hammond, and threw bottles over the bridge to watch them burst on the other side. well, eventually one of us connected with a lexus which immediately pulled into the Circle K nearby. instead of running, we concluded they didn't see us. they went ahead and flagged down some policia, and next thing you know i'm handcuffed in the back of a patrol car. my dad told me that he'd "failed as a father" that night and i was grounded for the entire summer. i honestly think this is the pivotal moment where i could have made the transition from innocent law abiding kid to freon huffing bastard who hates everyone and eventually ends up on doing designer drugs and going to raves. i think i made the right choice, but i don't think i'll ever know. **************************************************************** you know the saying "we won, we won, we shot the beebee gun..."? well when i was a kid, i had to endure this saying fairly often (because let's face it - i'm not the most athletic fellow). well one day i said "we lost, we lost. we ate the applesauce". now obviously i had heard this before but i didn't know where... so i convinced myself that i had come up with it. for the longest time i thought that i created this saying and i actually boasted to people in class about it. all the way up to high school, i remember telling people that was my creation. nowadays i'm fairly sure that the saying was just too widespread to be all my own, but i don't think you can prove that i didn't come up with it. in a related subject, i thought i'd come up with the saying "blue screen of death" (to refer to the error message that pops up on your computer screen when something is horribly wrong) as well... **************************************************************** i think teaching has got to be one of the hardest professions there could possibly be. kids are fucking cruel, and to have to deal with them (being the most wretched creatures on earth that they are) takes some serious will. when i was in seventh grade, i actually witnessed one of my teachers go insane. she slowly went crazy during the duration of the school year, and by the end of it she decided to walk around the class telling each individual student what she thought of them. so she's walking around telling 12 year olds things like "i like you; i don't like you; you're ok; i really like you; i don't care for you so much...". well when she gets to me, she says "and hate is not a strong enough word for what i feel for you...". i'm just staring at her. eventually i just said "well, ok." i wonder what she's doing now. maybe she has a myspace account... hmmm....

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